hey hi guys! lol its been ages since i last posted. hahas been almost half a year. Honestly i did not have the mood to blog at that time. Yea until today i suddenly had the urge to wanna blog yet again. Yea and schools' fine so far. Can say can cope la lol. okok.. Yup and Term Test are coming up! they starts on monday for me until wed. AND i haven even started studying!!! =( And oso i have noticed that i have been more slacked this sem than last sem. haha don seem to have that motivation to study this sem. Maybe its cos of various problems and oso the late dismmisal of sch which makes me super tired aftr dat. yea and recently i joined I guides sub comm and met wonderful people, good models and most importantly good frens =) And i'm glad to have known u guys! =)

Yup my school ends at 5-7 most of the time now this sem. only on friday i get to dismiss early at 12 =). And 1 of the major problem that could be causing my mood swings and affecting my motivation to study is about this girl. Why m i so flustered over this girl? u guys mus be asking. well u can say she's cute, loveable and she totally melt my heart. but the most important thing is not those! Its cos i really like her like lots and lots and lots. I tried giving her up before once, but then i realised i felt totally nth for other girls dat i see. no matter how chio u look u stand in front of me i will most likely only go, " orh". *nods head twice*. yea and its not because that i felt nth for other girls dat i go back to her. its cos i realised dat ultimately i stil like her and m stil thinking of her subconsciously. An example of wat my heart felt at that time, for exmaple u get a cup of plain water, add in 3 teaspoons of sugar and start stiring and try to dissolve the sugar, u will find that no matter how u try, u cant dissolve that small portion of sugar that will be left behind. That was wat i felt. I myself thot dat i had given her up. but then again i realised later that it isnt true. Yea but the hard truth is dat she currently don like me and maybe never will.. and yea it is indeed one-sided. I really hope i could really make it two-sided one day.. Many of my good frens and brothers told me to give her up and move on. But it doesnt mean say give up means give up one sia.. if u guys ever come across someone dat u truely love u will definitely feel the same thing as wat i feel now. Cos i feel that i'm willing to give up everything, and spend my entire remaining life with her. But for those pervious girls i liked before, if i were to find the situation not working out or rather she don have a thing for me, i would have said,"aiya nvm la don care." dat was last time with previous girls. she is totally different. And many times i wanted so badly to call her up and chat with her.. but i'm jus afraid she would not like it or would have gone to bed. And oso wanted to get gifts for her. but i gt rejected everytime i asked her out.. =( it wasnt downright rejection, but she's always busy with something. haha and yea my waiting for her is gonna be 1 year soon. I dono how long more i gotta wait but lets see how it goes. =) I really hope i find the right direction soon. =)

And another thing dat might be affecting me is abt certain friendships. Yea i dono if its only me but i realised dat my class isnt as close as previous sem. well not the whole class.. its our clique.. and we seroiusly talk lesser. we haven sat down and chatted happily in kinda long while alrdy. And i feel dat we're all slipping apart.. This brings me to the nxt point which is on my other frens.. I'm afraid dat i might lose u guys one day cos we seem to be conversing lesser and hanging out fewer. And yea sometimes i get the lonely and empty feelings is because when i nid to talk to good frens and brothers when i'm down or feeling unhappy, sometimes they wont be there for me. either cos they are busy or perhaps some other reasons. sometimes don even reply. As i have stated at the right hand side of my blog.. I'm a person who nt only treasures relationships, money etc. I really treasure friendship alot too. dats why friendships can oso affect my mood. These feelings oso occur when i'm afraid that that particular friendship might be falling apart and m afraid to lose such a good fren/brother. Cos if its jus a normal fren i honestly tell u i wont bother much. no offence though. And i really hope that those good friendships i have now will last long and withstand all ups and downs dat come by no matter how severe it is. And yea to end off, til today, i stil strongly believe in this, Truths and Tears clear the way to a lasting friendship.

Love u guys! =D cheers and good luck all for Term Tests!
Blogged @ 1:27 AM
~Always be waiting for you~